Guy talk after the wedding.
Al, Bill, and Joe, who had found time for once to be in the same room together, had decided to have lunch at one of the Rocks’ less famous and therefore less crowded restaurants. The three of them had separately and innocently ordered light beers, and after the mocking grins had done the rounds, decided that they could confess to the fact that they preferred the taste. Light beer uses less sugar, so the flavor gets a chance. The owner, a German Australian called Fritz Immelman, commented that it was interesting to meet Australians who actually drank beer to taste it rather than swilled it to wash in it.
“The local beers can be very good, but so much sugar…….It’s like drinking old homemade lemonade.”
“You realize we’re letting the drunken businessman image really go to the dogs? What will our host think if we don’t stagger off, defecating manfully?” asked Bill, who’d found the place.
“Your host will be very grateful and much richer for having not to clean up the mess. We had some group of peasants in last month, they’re not coming back, I can tell you. Tell me, is this like Germany or England, where people think they’re able to drink because they can’t live through more than a couple of beers without turning into animals? I’ve been here for twenty years and I still don’t understand it.”
“I think the idea is to prove they can live through it. Doesn’t seem to work, though, I grant you,” said Bill.
“There is the local pub thing. Sort of rustic folklore version of social life. A lot of men drink because they think they have to be part of whatever everyone’s doing…. I’ve always thought it was a bit weak,” pondered Joe.
“In the States the lush is a sort of bad joke in some social sets. They used to be funny, now they’re just boring and predictable. It’s more habituated, than social,” said Al, reminding himself how many useless lushes there were in advertising. Joe blinked with a realization.
“I’m just trying to think….social drinking, all that stuff…. Now I’m married, doing anything at all socially is something I can take or leave. That’s one thing Carla taught me from day one, fun is fun, and that’s good enough.”
“You married long?” asked Fritz.
“A month last week. Very pleased about it, too.”
“I’ve been married for a decade and so help me if I wasn’t I think I’d be a nutcase. A kid, a fantastic wife, and more fun than I know how to describe. You’re quite right, Joe, the world’s little hobbies are optional,” agreed Bill.
“Ja, I’ve been married for twenty seven years, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss a second. My wife is the one who’s killing your steaks for you, by the way.”
“Oh….you kill them, now…?” asked Bill, looking worried.
“We thought it was best…”
Al had gone into the single man’s personal reverie known as What In God’s Name Am I Doing?, so popular in major traumas and some textbooks. The presence of three very happily married men had had an impact he would never have believed. Dorothy…. It was about then that he realized he was unable to consider the possibility of a world without Dorothy. What an obscenity the idea was.
Bill noticed Al was several light years away and receding. Joe saw Al as far removed from the conversation and looked at Bill. They said nothing. It occurred to Al much later that he went through a sort of dream sequence, himself ploughing through endless crowds with her as a sort of sole navigational reference. Thoughts piled in. Why were there buildings everywhere, full of noise and distractions? When he was with her, everything made sense. David had said years ago that Hannah was the main reason he still associated with the human race, explaining that Al wasn’t for all practical purposes a member of that species, being an ad man.
Fritz’s wife had done a very good job of killing the steak, which helped Al return, somewhat nominally, to the world. The conversation took a cautious turn towards him.
“You look like you just wrote a book,” commented Bill.
“Yeah, bit of an internal dialogue there. The reviews haven’t been crash hot so far.”
“Some books are for specialists only,” observed Joe.
“This is sort of a user’s manual, and there’s reason to think that the user should be replaced, or upgraded, or something, prior to being allowed near the subject.”
“Car industry, eh?” asked Bill.
“Motorist’s Guide To Self Evasion?” inquired Joe.
“Something like that.”