This is an excerpt from The Danforth Puppy, inspired by my friend Joie’s dog Zorro. I wrote it about 10 years ago when Zorro and Joie were making me laugh so much. I sent it to Joie, chapter by chapter. I’m trying to get it published.

Humans are weird, said The Danforth Puppy, as he, Logan and Yonge observed some people throwing away a week’s food from one of their hideouts in the park.

Look at them throwing away all that food, he complained. We could feed everyone in the park with that!

Humans can always get more food, explained Logan. They have their own winters in boxes, where they can keep food forever. So they throw it out when they feel like it.

How do you know that? asked Yonge.

We squirrels are surprisingly well informed, explained Logan.

Yes, said The Danforth Puppy, grinning, and looking at Yonge.

Yes, agreed Yonge, also smiling.

They waited a little while, until the humans had all gone home, and cautiously approached a box of food.  Pape and some of the other swallows had been watching too, and they perched in the trees nearby. The Danforth Puppy, being the biggest, went first, in case the box of food tried to escape, and sniffed thoughtfully.

That’s odd…, he said. He grabbed the big box, and opened it. There was nearly all of a strange, round thing in the box, with meat on it. Experimentally, he tasted some of the meat.

Then he did a little dance, or at least that’s what it looked like to the others.

Tingly food! Good! babbled The Danforth Puppy, bouncing around.

Logan and Yonge sighed. The Danforth Puppy was a bit strange himself, sometimes, but it looked like he was having fun.

Danforth, you great bouncing mess, what is that thing? asked Yonge, interestedly.

It’s some sort of meat, but it tingles! said The Danforth Puppy, happily munching some more, while bouncing.

Angus had sneaked out to see his friends in the park, and found The Danforth Puppy doing his odd dance.

Angus! (bounce) What’s this thing? (bounce) It’s delicious, (bounce) and it (bounce) tingles! asked The Danforth Puppy.

Angus, watching the huge puppy bouncing around happily, paused to laugh his head off. That set off Yonge and Logan, and the swallows, all laughing.

Eventually Angus was able to say, It’s called pizza. It’s very nice. But… it makes dogs act strangely, you know….., he said looking at Yonge and Logan with a smile.

The Danforth Puppy was still bouncing around, loving the taste of the food.

It was like having their very own dancing elephant for little Yonge and Logan, as the big bouncing puppy did his Pizza Dance.

Act strangely, eh?… commented Yonge.     

You don’t say? said Logan.

Yonge crept up on the box like he was hunting, pounced on the pizza, and grabbed a nice big piece.

Hey, it is nice! said Yonge, loving the tangy taste. He then began pouncing playfully on the food, catching it, and throwing it in the air, and trying to pounce on it again before it landed.

Cats, too, explained Angus to Logan.

We squirrels are too dignified to bounce and pounce like that, you know, said Logan, who’d managed to find a way around his bouncing and pouncing friends.

We’re too intelligent, too sophisticated. It’s in our nature to be cooler than cool, he explained.

He picked up an experimental bit of capsicum.

He tried it.

He went nuts.

A definitely strange, scampering, squirrel charged around the park with his bit of capsicum, like a fluffy tailed rocket.

If bouncing and pouncing are peculiar, scampering is something truly odd.

It’sdeliciousit’sfantasticit’sgreatit’sbrilliantIloveit!, said Logan, running at full speed on his hind legs, chomping away on his capsicum.

The swallows, eventually, managed to get some pizza. Angus looked on while they, too, flew dreamily around babbling about pizza crusts. Some of them tried flying backwards, and that sort of confused things a bit more for everyone.

Angus, who’d somehow managed to get a bit of meat for himself, went home as The Danforth Puppy, Yonge, Logan and the swallows bounced, pounced, scampered, and babbled on into the cool, dreamy Spring night.

They’re nearly as weird as humans, thought Angus, walking on his own hind legs, happily eating his pizza.